During meetings with clients, the question of communication skills very often arises. It can be anything, from any sphere of life. Truth!
Convince the interlocutor; explain your behavior; find out the details of your official or educational task; ask for directions; get to know and be interested in yourself; get a certain position; make a presentation; understand with a child or an offended neighbor; to explain to my own parents that I am already an adult girl of fifty years old.... Almost everything in our lives happens thanks to our ability to come into contact with another person, understand his needs and aspirations, give an idea of our own and reach an agreement in one form or another.
But, as always, not everything is as simple as psychotherapists tell. It turns out that at every tiny stage there can be obstacles and difficulties.
In real life, for some reason, I cannot open my mouth at a crucial moment. Or it seems to me that no one wants to listen to me, because I am not interesting to anyone. Maybe even I speak clearly and consistently present my ideas, and then people always, as if by conspiracy, say that it was not clear at all. And it may also be that when I firmly defend my personal boundaries, someone may later call it aggressive behavior. At some point, I feel superfluous, lonely, different, almost a UFO. And at the same time, I do not understand at all how to deal with this misfortune, how to help myself.
Of course, you can look for causes and sources of origin in childhood (and this is absolutely correct), you can recall many psycho-traumatic situations throughout my life (all of which negatively affected my ability to communicate), you can find some very unsocialized relative to blame for everything (it has been proven that genetics does not play any role). All this will be correct, but completely in vain - this information will not help me get along better with others. What to do with this knowledge? How will they help to be more pleasant in communication?
Fortunately, there is an effective option. You can learn to communicate, even if something didn't work out at an early age. You need to contact a psychotherapist, complain (this is the first step!), make a rescue plan and start working. Psychotherapy has at its disposal many tools and theories about how to improve the quality of communication skills (one of the most expensive soft skills today, by the way). It is best to do this in a group, so that it is easy to observe, correct in time and manage the process. In addition to directly practicing skills, in the group I can gain experience in correct, careful treatment of me in various situations. You can get sincere, frank feedback. And, what is very important, it is safe.
Such therapy gives an understanding of the real attitude of others towards me, of the best and worst options for my reactions to someone's actions. I can get live real experience in the group, make a kind of rehearsal of real life. And if there is such an opportunity, the hope of an opportunity to agree with each other, to enjoy communication remains.